Schizophrenic-i-am

Easter Sunday, and the skies are gray Nothing happens A walk is made A friendship lost Forever in the rain A walk is made A human is ill There's no room for joy The time is 7:30 PM, Pacific Eastern. The clouds make the sky look bright, as if summer was just around the corner. One might have even thought so if it wasn't for the fact that there were clouds and the ground was wet and it smelled like Earth. One would have thought so if the house yard wasn't strewn with confetti and fake grass from the little kids playing with their Easter baskets. One would have thought so if the air was a little bit heavier. One might have thought so if

And my life rudely shakes me into existence I'm bombarded by the memories of last night The things I wanted The things I did No longer am I running free of fixing a mess No longer am I happy in my own world But I am here, awake My eyes burn I feel dirty My breath, my mouth, stale and disgusting I get up and am greeted by my parents And all of a sudden everything that was ever wrong All the bad feelings I had towards anything my body, my self, anyone else, my room Is gone in a flash I don't brush my teeth right away I never do And I make my way towards little loves Young and old I go outside to get them their food And I p

And my world finally tells me goodnight Falling into the lovely memories that is my bed I bury my face into my pillow before saying my sweet goodnight (To my lover, far away) The smell of life fills my nostrils and already I am filling my head with faces Of those I love and miss dearly And in the moments between me being alive And entering my other world I am happier than I've ever been Happier than before Happier than now Happier than I ever will be I breathe my last breath and finally After the moments I've cherished are gone The moments of my natural high, blissfully leaving my conscious I am home And my world finally tells

Go outside Go on your roof Close your eyes Feel the breeze, hot or cold Breathe in Open your soul Spread your arms and jump Jump higher than you ever have before And further, too. Breathe out and feel the wind in your face as you glide over your home. The homes of the people you love. The homes of the  people you know. The empty lanes of the boulevards long forgotten. See all you can; this does not last forever. What's that? In the background? It is your house, miles away. You do not wish to go to your house, you want to go home. But you know you must. You fly over your home one more time with pleading eyes and feel a strong longing